Relapse 1: I broke down crying again…

Posted by N3R3N Feb 14, 2015 no comment My Life

Why oh why? When I was a little, I thought that as long as I smiled, I could endure anything. I believed that Happy days were surely to come. To this day, I believe in that even if the people around me had left. But this time I wasn’t able to smile anymore. I tried so hard to be strong. But I just couldn’t help but broke down today and my tears were like over flowing river. Arggg! I just couldn’t believe, dealing with so much all at once, I thought how much can one person deal with? It would’ve been easier to disappear but I’ve never taken the easy way out to anything so I just cried and let it all out. It really hurts me, it hurts, it hurts right here in my heart Lord. Please give me strength to go on… I need you Lord, please help me. I’m so tired… !__! #Relapse

Always and Forever,

Happy Hearts Day!

Posted by N3R3N Feb 13, 2015 no comment My Life


To be honest, I am not happy nor sad today…just feeling numb but I am happy for everyone who are celebrating with their love ones today. I won’t be bitter lol heheheh. It’s really good to know that there are still people who are inlove and happy. Atleast true love still exist for some people. It gives me hope that maybe someday it will come for me but I won’t focus on that. I guess if it’s meant to be then it’s meant to be. I will just let God take control of my life. Because when you trust God for everything, nothing is impossible. I also beleieve that no one can take away what God has for you. So stay calm, and trust the process. I am just thankful that I am still here and alive. After all the bullshit I’ve been through, I can’t even believe I am still standing. God is good and I am going to embrace the freedom He gave me for being on my own. Rebuilding my life, loving myself and to praise and love our Almight Father above anyone else on earth. So on this Valentine’s Day, whatever feelings of hurt and disappointment we may be dealing with, let’s take some time to celebrate our own resiliency as we navigate the journey of healing. Let’s do something kind for ourself. It can be as simple as buying ourself a special piece of chocolate (hahaha for sure I will buy my fave chocolate covered pretzels from Chocolate Factory yay!), making time for your favorite tv shows (I’ll for sure watch ~ Reign, The Walking Dead, The 100, and The Originals), driving around (oh yeah Time to think while driving or just enjoy driving around in the afternoon) eating your favorite food (hmmm I want me some sushi, cake, spaghetti and adobo ahehehehe) taking a walk (for sure I will walk with my Teddy boo!) or a moment for prayer (of course reading, reflecting and praying). Most importantly honor wherever we are in the process without judgment or criticism. Treating ourself with loving kindness can help soothe the pain and make our road to healing a little less painful. The goal is progress not perfection. Alrighty, that’s it for now. Thank you for reading, go on and enjoy the rest of your day! Keep smiling ~ God bless!

Here’s a sentiment for Valentine’s Day we can all embrace.

“Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn’t you – all of the expectations, all of the beliefs – and becoming who you are.” – Rachel Naomi Remen


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